The Week’s Worst Resumes

I am recruiting again. I reviewed 60 resumes today. Found four candidates to phone screen. Yep, the pickins are slim. Ah, but the process does give me blog fuel. Here’s what made me cringe.

One guy actually created his resume to look like a slick marketing page. It had a blue background and each section had different headings and graphics. Who am I? What do I know? What have I done? The funniest part was the header. The candidate’s initials were in gigantic font at the top of the resume. In thick black lettering were two letters. B.S. That just about says it all.

Another candidate actually listed the salary he earned at every single job he had since high school. He started at $7 per hour back in 1998. He was up to $40k at his last gig. Why oh why would anyone do this?

But today’s wackiest candidate had to be the one who explained in gory detail the exact reasons why she left each of her last 12 positions. Under-appreciated. Expected to work until 6 p.m. Supervisor lacked management expertise. Company values not a match. Did not believe in products. Like I am going to touch this with a 10-foot pole.

Seriously. I could not make this stuff up if I tried. Don’t these people have family or friends? Someone needs to do an intervention.

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