Drawing the Nudity Line

There’s something special about San Francisco.

That fabulous city by the bay, where little cable cars travel halfway to the stars….fa la la…

Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco, and hippies found their peace-and-love capitol there in the Flower Power 1960s.

Yes, it’s a beautiful place, and widely known for its progressive spirit and social diversity.

But San Francisco’s vaunted tolerance has been tested by some of its residents who find clothes just too, uh, inhibiting.

I did not know until recently that it’s perfectly legal to stroll down the street in San Francisco buck naked, as they say.

Ah, California…

While the clothes-less tend to congregate in San Francisco’s super-liberal Castro District, they aren’t restricted to that area and are apparently free to wander anywhere in the city as long as they don’t make a nuisance of themselves.

But one place they’ll no longer be seen is in restaurants.

Just imagine: You’re sitting in a restaurant having a nice bowl of Rice-A-Roni – the San Francisco treat – when in strolls Mr. Natural. Now I don’t care how physically “in shape” this person might be, I would totally put off my Roni.

I mean, how could you ignore something like that and just go on eating? Especially if he sat down on the counter stool next to you?

Well, it seems the oh-so-tolerant folks in San Francisco finally found a place to draw the line when it comes to public nudity. The city’s Board of Supervisors – bowing no doubt to public discomfort with nude dining – recently adopted a rule that bans naked people from eating in restaurants.

The brave city leaders also approved a law that forces nudists to place a cover on public chairs and benches before they sit down, according to the San Francisco Examiner.

Supervisor Scott Weiner (I’m not making this up), who introduced the ban, told the Examiner that a line between the nude and the un-nude needed to be drawn.

“I’m not a health expert, but I believe sitting nude in a public place is not sanitary,” Weiner said, defending the bold action taken by the supervisors. “Would you want to sit on a seat where someone had been sitting naked? I think most people would say no.”

Discounting the fact that most people – well, most men anyway – who use public toilets usually don’t put a cover down first, his point is otherwise well-taken.

Fines for violators of the new rules are fairly light, at least for the first and second offenses – at $100 and $200 respectively. For a third bare fanny violation, it’s $1,000 and up to a year in jail.

I wonder if the three-strike, au natural offenders would be allowed to spend their jail sentence in the nude?

I think I’d advise against it.

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