Beware the white elephant: business gifts can be tricky

Invited to a white elephant gift exchange over the holidays? Here’s a simple rule of thumb for surviving this tradition in a business setting:

If your 9-year-old would find the gift you select funny, it probably isn’t going to be appropriate in a gathering of colleagues.

The ritual of white elephant exchanges has a variety of incarnations. Typically, each guest brings a wrapped gift of a specified value. When the event begins, guests take turns selecting gifts and opening them. As the exchange continues, guests have the option of “stealing” an already opened gift or choosing a wrapped gift.

From there the rules and nuances diverge depending on the group.

“White elephant” frequently is associated with tacky, unwanted or used. That hasn’t always been the case, however. There was a time when the kings of Burma and Siam coveted actual white elephants, believing they had sacred power.

Even then, however, according to legend, there was an element of the unwanted in white elephants. Because they were viewed as sacred, the animals were kept in high style, doing nothing but eating and sleeping. Receipt of the coddled elephants was a sure road to financial ruin.

Today the meaning of white elephant is again evolving, says Anne Clark, marketing expert and executive director of eWomen Network in Northern Colorado. Much of that evolution can be attributed to women’s participation, Clarke said.

“Women do not like to receive foot-long sausages that you buy at Kmart,” Clark said. “They do not like burned candles and they do not like the jewelry that your grandmother got free with a coupon.”

Women, and people in general, do not like to receive a lovely, nicely wrapped gift and open it only to discover that they’ve been tricked into selecting something hideous like half-eaten Halloween candy or dirty gym socks.

Thus, today’s white elephant gift is more frequently something the giver might like to receive, whether that is a new or recycled gift, Clark said.

Get into the spirit

Negotiating the white elephant at work may be trickier than it outwardly seems. It’s important to go along with the spirit of the exchange, stick to any price guidelines and avoid the tacky or tasteless.

If “white elephant” translates into “silly,” Debra Benton, an internationally recognized executive coach and author, said she would likely take that a step further. In addition to a small, silly gift, she’d add something of interest and substance.

For instance, if the limit is $6, spend a dollar on a token and tuck in a $5 Starbucks gift card. “If I were the recipient, I’d like that.”

Benton said that she wouldn’t be the one to suggest a white elephant exchange at work. She might, instead, look for something relevant to the business. That’s not to say that there shouldn’t be fun in the workplace, Benton emphasized.

“But fun doesn’t mean red rubber ball on the nose.

“Fun is a feeling that I’m doing something of value. I’m contributing. I’m being valued. I can laugh. I think fun should be all the time.”

If a workplace gift exchange is necessary, consider something with a theme reflecting the current efforts of the company, “a new project, something that’s happening. Even though we’re having fun at the office, we’re still focused on the business at hand.”

Control your inner child

A white elephant gift exchange can bring out the child in those participating and that’s not always a good thing, especially at work.

Mind your manners and remember the spirit of the season, said Susan Jewell-Klema, executive director of the Women’s Development Council of Northern Colorado and owner of Something with Pizzaz, a relationship marketing company.

“Have fun, be creative and remember that it’s Christmas, so be a little generous,” Jewell-Klema said.

That spirit of generosity should cover both the giving – select something you’d like to receive – and the receiving, Jewell-Klema said. “Whatever you get, be gracious,” she advised. “You feel kind of funny when the gift you bring is the last to be selected. Whoever gets that gift needs to act just as excited as the first one who got theirs.”

And even a step further: “Be generous in including the people who have never done this before. Help people have fun. Be excited for those around you.”

Participants in a white elephant gift exchange need to be wary of letting their competitive instincts get the best of them. “Don’t take it too seriously,” Jewell-Klema notes. “Have some fun, but on the other hand don’t be mean.”

The most important rule of etiquette arises from remembering who you are and why you’re there. It may be the holiday season and a party to boot, however, “You are representing yourself as a business person in this community. It’s O.K. to be funny, it’s O.K. to steal the gift, or whatever, but avoid being too hard-core.”

Otherwise, she said, “you might end up with the $15 gift, but lose 10 potential clients.”

on Facebook on LinkedIn