It’s all about the bottle

This save-the-planet thing is getting a little complex. Now that the Vitamin Cottage in Lafayette has decided to do away with all disposable bags at the end of the month – at least we won’t have to choose between paper or plastic anymore – what are we going to scoop our pet poop into, I ask you?

And now here comes Primo, offering us the chance to be green and red, white and blue at the same time. The North Carolina water bottler is hawking its wares in “American Grown Bottles made from corn not crude oil.” I’m all about a product that tells me on its the label that I should “feel good” about “making a difference” while purchasing “perfection.” Now I really do want to learn more at www.primowater.com.

I’ll spare you the fine print, but the “difference” I made buying the 18-pack of half-liters “unlike all other beverage bottles” is completely negated not only by the fact the water inside came from the East Coast, but also that they can’t be recycled with those other nasty resource-depleting PET and HDPE containers. They’re worse than yogurt cups, and could actually contaminate otherwise healthy recycling streams.

The only after-market for their properly processed constituent elements is the original manufacturer, perhaps in search of a perpetual motion machine that will allow the same original bottles to be produced and reproduced until the end of time.

But the ever-helpful Web site does suggest that while nothing ever really composts completely, we can reclaim the energy consumed in the making of the bottle through incineration. Now, if only trash fires were legal in Larimer County, the planet could rest easy.

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