It’s all about time travel

Imagine if, after a hard session on the Holodeck, the crew of the Starship Enterprise could unwind in  a steam room filled with mist from ancient mineral springs once enjoyed by the Roman legions unlucky enough to be stationed at the far end of Britain (and no doubt Celts who had enough sense to keep them quiet before then). That’s what the new Thermae Spa is like. I can only say the place is remarkably fabulous — all RFID tracking technology for lockers and other services, completely co-ed facilites (and who cares?), futuristic design, and a special smaller, separate pool for those of the pagan persuasion who see the springs as something more than a place to soak the travel out of your bones.

The locals aren’t so sure about the cost of the thing, which hasn’t actually been released since its opening in 2006, but the fact that the first developer went bust, the second finished it and the third fixed the bits the second company got wrong, but the view of the Cathedral from the rooftop pool — and the 10 quid an hour entry fee — might make up for it.

The old Roman Baths right next door also charge £10.50 for a tour, but all you get is a sip, not a soak. We passed.

The town of Bath is so Aspen — if Aspen had about a dozen more centuries of history behind it. The headlines in the Bath Chronicle seem to be variations on “Is Bath too posh?” When developers can buy The Crescent, the city’s Georgian landmark, from the university for £10 million to convert into rentals and maisonettes that will fetch, at minimum, £750,000 for a one-bedroom, they might be right. There’s even urban renewal to get rid of awful 1950s’ architechure — although, to be fair, it was put up to replace buildings bombed in World War II — and a fight over whether to expand the airport to let more tourists in.

When I mentioned the Aspen analogy to one of my seatmates on the train that points north, her 10-year-old daughter piped up, “Aspen? That was in ‘Dumb and Dumber’!”

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