It’s all about February

Full disclosure, here on Valentine’s Eve: I’ve always hated February. It’s cold, it’s grey – and that’s just the snow that’s still left on the ground from December. The new stuff falling today should cover it up nicely, though.

The problem with February is that it’s a tease. It starts out almost dead center between the winter solstice and the spring equinox – the middle of winter, in my book – but the days become noticeably longer. It’s still cold, but the extended daylight makes you think you should be out gardening or somesuch. Any such activities will be doomed by the snows of March – and April – so all February does is increase the pitch of cabin fever. There’s a reason all the paperwork for paying taxes arrives in the mail this month – heck, it can’t get any worse, can it?

Don’t take my word for it. Just look at all the holidays crowded into the shortest month of the year, a pathetic attempt to distract us from the bleak and dreary: Groundhog Day (Feb. 2 – nice going, Phil, raising everybody’s hopes for an early spring just before New York state gets 7 feet of snow); Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14 – as if Hallmark would let us forget); Lunar New Year (Feb. 18, and gung hay fat choy for the Year of the Pig); Presidents’ Day (Feb. 19 this year, consolidating Lincoln’s birthday on Feb. 12 and Washington’s birthday on Feb. 22 – give it time and Ronald Regan’s Feb. 6 natality will be added, trust me); Mardi Gras on Feb. 20 followed, of course, by Ash Wednesday on Feb. 21 this year, which by a cruel irony is also National Sticky Bun Day. You think it’s a coincidence that Lent, the season of deprivation, starts in February most years? Right after the Girl Scout cookies are delivered, please note.

So, in honor of Do A Grouch a Favor Day – Feb. 15 – leave me a comment in defense of February. It might make us both feel better.

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