November 11, 2011

No Aliens

There’s no such thing as aliens from other worlds.

That’s the official pronouncement from the White House in response to two petitions that asked the U.S. government to finally come clean and reveal the secret files on aliens that have been careening around the Earth in their spaceships – and possibly even living among us – since at least the late 1940s.

That’s when, according to alien-believer myth, a spaceship crashed in the Nevada desert and the bodies of dead aliens were recovered and probably taken to Area 51, a remote part of Edwards Air Force Base in the wastelands of southern Nevada.

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The government has always insisted that there’s nothing “alien” going on at Area 51. But at the same time, it is tightly guarded and its very existence wasn’t acknowledged by the government until 2003.

Most non-alien believers say it is likely just a super-secret testing area for new weapon systems and government research projects.

But it’s been a part of the alien myth for about 70 years now, and a fundamental part of the folklore surrounding possible visitors from other planets.

But earlier this month, White House spokesman Phil Larson of the Office of Science and Technology Policy responded to the petitions from the Paradigm Research Group with a nine-sentence blog that essentially said “Get a life” to alien believers.

“The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race,” Larson wrote. “In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye.”

Larson goes on to say – just because there’s not a shred of evidence that aliens DO exist – the U.S. government is still involved in trying to locate them if they do.

Larson noted the SETI project, or the Search for ExtraTerrestrial Intelligence, that was essentially a “giant ear” aimed at the cosmos to pick up any kind of radio or other waves that would indicate an intelligent source.

That program was begun under NASA, but due to its total failure to produce a single encouraging result, has been dropped from government funding and turned over to the private sector.

Larson also noted the Kepler spacecraft that was launched to search for “Earth-like” planets in the so-called “Goldilocks Zone” of distant solar systems where it might not be too hot or too cold to support life as we know it.

So far, nothing on that one either.

Finally, Larson said, there’s the Mars Science Laboratory, an automobile-sized rover that NASA plans to launch soon that would study Martian soil and rocks to detect if the Red Planet could ever have hosted life.

We’ve already seen the Mars Rover, a crawling device about the size of a skateboard, take photos of the desolate Martian landscape.

No ancient cities or skeletons to be seen.

Then Larson throws out a final bone to the UFO-believers. “Many scientists and mathematicians have looked with a statistical mindset at the question of whether life likely exists beyond Earth and have come to the conclusion that the odds are pretty high that somewhere among the trillions and trillions of stars in the universe there is a planet other than ours that is home to life.”

Thanks, Phil.

But then he adds that, given the distances of the vastness of space, the odds of making contact with another intelligent species are extremely small.

So please, alien believers, take it from your government:

Get a life.

There’s no such thing as aliens from other worlds.

That’s the official pronouncement from the White House in response to two petitions that asked the U.S. government to finally come clean and reveal the secret files on aliens that have been careening around the Earth in their spaceships – and possibly even living among us – since at least the late 1940s.

That’s when, according to alien-believer myth, a spaceship crashed in the Nevada desert and the bodies of dead aliens were recovered and probably taken to Area 51, a remote part of Edwards Air Force Base in the wastelands of southern…

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