Cuteness

Cuteness: Is it in the eye of the beholder?

When it comes to the animal kingdom, most people can agree that a baby sheep or a baby bunny is pretty darned cute.

But what about baby people? Are they always cute?

I think that falls into the realm of the eye of the beholder.

Let’s be honest: Most human babies – when they’re first born – just aren’t that cute. Their faces are often all squished together from all that time in the oven. Some have hair, but most don’t. They kind of look like little bald troll dolls.

Fortunately, this phase passes pretty quickly and then most infants start to take on some serious cuteness as their hair fills out and their faces begin to look more human.

By the age of two, human kids are usually so cute it’s almost criminal. But again, it depends on your tolerance for other peoples’ kids. Why is it that OUR kid is so incredibly cute while the kid next door is just not that cute? Certainly NOT as cute as ours.

Someone once said kids are cute so you don’t kill them. Anyone who’s raised a child through the endless diaper changes, crying through the night and having to constantly pull them back from the edge of disaster knows what that means.

But that angelic little face always seems to melt our hearts, and we decide to keep loving them through it all.

Baby animals have to be about the cutest creatures on the planet, whether it’s a baby puppy or a baby skunk. And I suppose it’s not just their physical features, with those big innocent eyes and miniature bodies. It’s also their complete lack of guile or subtlety.

They’re simply cute in every way.

But let’s take it a step further. What about baby spiders, baby snakes or baby scorpions? They’re kind of cute, too, as long as they don’t accidentally bite you and accidentally kill you.

Oops. That wouldn’t be cute.

Recently, three baby lion cubs were born at the Bronx Zoo, and they’re apparently all the rage in the Greater New York Metropolitan Area. Born Jan. 27, the triplets are growing quickly and are now scampering around their compound to the delight of zoo visitors.

But here’s the thing: While they may be ever so cute now, eventually they’ll all turn into 600-pound killing machines. And pity the poor zookeeper who is late with the meat some day and gets a little too close to their no-longer-cute fangs and claws.

Cuteness DOES fade over time, and that’s mostly a good thing. After all, who would want to send cute cows and cute pigs to the slaughterhouse?

That would just be too hard to do and would likely result in a big jump in the number of vegetarians out there.

But wouldn’t it be great if that adorable puppy just stayed cute and never got any bigger?

Only if someone else does the clean-up.

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