Watch out for the invasion of the brain-pickers!

One of my favorite things about being an entrepreneur is helping others to realize their dream of being self-employed. Sharing war stories from my years as a business owner, including several mistakes I’ve made along the way as well as the “wins” that truly taught me to work diligently and intelligently, is rewarding from a professional standpoint. It’s also an honor to have someone appreciate my work.

One caveat, however, is when the inquiry comes wrapped in a strange type of packaging that I call “brain picking in a box.”

Nearly every week I have been asked to meet with someone to hear their needs related to job transition. This is great; it’s part of what I do as a business owner, recruiter and career coach. However, there are times when complete strangers demand my time immediately, for free, so that they can “pick my brain.”

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What is it about this phrase that sends shivers down my spine? It just sounds painful -and it usually is.

There is a brewing subculture of business people who may revolt against the idea of brain-picking all together if the world doesn’t stop to address what’s happening.

“When someone wants my time and would like to hear about my experiences, I’m flattered,” one entrepreneur told me. “But when they say they want to ‘pick my brain,’ it puts me on edge. They don’t take the time to tell me anything about who they are, why they are calling me, or what’s in it for me. Do they have to take me out for a five-course dinner to thank me? Of course not. But would a gentle offer of coffee, a drink, lunch, etc. as appreciation be nice? You bet.”

Too often the request to take someone’s time is an awkward attempt at getting information quickly, easily, without working to obtain it on one’s own. When dealing with entrepreneurs, not only is there more likelihood of limited time available, but there is also a different type of ego at stake, one that, whether we ‘fess up to it or not, can get a little damaged when “picked.”

Another business owner commented that he had to do all of the hard work to get to where he is, so when he’s asked if someone can “pick his brain,” he feels like the asker just wants a handout for nothing. Unfortunately, most people don’t know any other way of asking for time and information than using the “brain-picking” approach.

Think before you meet

I see this genre of inquiry primarily when job seeking, a sadly popular pastime this year. There’s been a whole lot of brain-picking going on, and not all of it has been good.

It’s ultra-important to consider the best approach to meeting and discussing a business owner’s background and organization to avoid the suspicion that you may be an existing or potential competitor, a competitor’s “spy,” or just someone who may misconstrue what you hear.  Thinking clearly before the meeting helps not only in the introduction, but in setting the tone, pace and focus for the meeting.

Think twofold – not only about what you want out of the interaction but also what you can give back, whether that be offering to buy lunch, coffee, dinner, or whatever, or perhaps paying for the time if your target is a professional services company such as a consultancy, CPA or law firm.

Write out what you want to achieve and the types of questions you will ask to keep the meeting brief and on track:

n What type of inquiry will align with what I think the person’s style and preference would be?  For example, if you know that the person is an early riser who loves coffee, ask if he or she would be open to meeting you for coffee, early, your treat, to just have a quick meeting to discuss a few of your current pursuits.

n How can I find out a great deal of information without wearing the person out in the process?

n What five things do I really want to know about this person/organization by the time we’re finished talking?

n What can I offer in return?

Manners 101

Basically, this is just Manners 101 and business owners, job seekers and the general public can all acknowledge that while business people’s time is precious it’s not so sacred that they won’t part with a bit if they see value and purpose in doing so.

At times, we as business owners may unknowingly “brain pick” other entrepreneurs, trying to quickly solve problems and decrease pain by abruptly demanding time and expertise from our peers. We’re not exempt from bad behavior, so a reality check and an attitude of reciprocation and gratitude may be in order.

By the way, the handwritten thank-you note works wonders. Jackie Kennedy was a pro in this department and thankfully, my very non-Kennedyesque mother was also a huge follower of the practice. It has done wonders for my career and relationships, and people of all walks of life can do it. It’s easy and the people who give you their time really appreciate it.

Like everything, brain-picking is less painful when followed by a thoughtful note.

Dawn Duncan is the co-owner of Broadreach Recruiting & Consulting, a Fort Collins-based firm. Contact her at 970-221-3511 or

www.broadreachrecruiting.com