Mother-daughter business teaches etiquette

BOULDER — Decline having the boss over for dinner at your peril. You may set the table for advancement as you offer a customary courtesy to your employer.Sharon Roark, a director of Etiquette, Manners & More …, notes that employees often worry that they’ll be judged by the quality of their dinnerware, so they forgo an opportunity to socialize.”It doesn’t matter if you have fancy china or crystal,´ said Roark. “The key to successful entertaining is proper planning. It’s creating a relaxed atmosphere.”
Roark and her daughter, Mary Vann, are the owners of Etiquette, Manners & More … They rent space at the Boulder Chamber of Commerce building to offer their new service.
Their debut echoes a growing movement across the country to rejoin the word “polite” with society. A search of the Internet reveals a number of Web sites whose sponsors emphasize business etiquette.
The Web site of an Atlanta site, Personal Best, cites studies indicating “that 91 percent of dissatisfied customers and clients never complain about personal discourtesies but simply take their business elsewhere.”
Vann formerly managed and then owned Finer Things, a Boulder business built on finesse in table-setting and entertaining. The shop was closed after she had her second child.
She has been approached frequently by her contacts at the Boulder Chamber of Commerce. The people she meets are urbane, but their co-workers may be less than refined. “They ask me questions, such as, ‘How do I get a co-worker to learn to say please,'” Vann said.
Roark’s and Vann’s business is independent of the Chamber. The business number is (303) 245-0483.
To date, the greatest response to the service has been teaching children. Shadow Mountain Montessori School has enlisted Roark and Vann to offer classes in etiquette to its charges. At the end of the session, Mountain Shadow students will hold a party for their parents, to demonstrate what they’ve learned. Fees are $150 per child, which covers three 11/2 hour sessions.
The experience is a class act. Roark’s husband, Lawrence Zillmer, has a Ph.D. in communications. Together, they have developed a system of creative dramatics that help drive the lessons home to young minds.
“Etiquette is one of the first skills children may be taught, and as they get older, it is one of the last things they forget,´ said her husband, Lawrence Zillmer. Studies show that Alzheimer patients may retain social skills after other knowledge fails.
Roark’s background is dotted with intrigue. During a former marriage to an English pediatrician, who died of cancer, she taught etiquette classes in London. She is the daughter of Garland Roark, author of “Wake of the Red Witch,” which became a John Wayne movie. She has dabbled in the dramatics, performing concert-quality piano, according to her husband, and musical theater along side Anita Loos of “Gentleman Prefer Blondes” fame.
Her experience in working with young people dates back to the 1960s. She is also skilled in international etiquette.
She and her husband are residents of Story, Wyo., a small berg in the northern part of that state. They are frequent visitors to Boulder.
The events at Columbine High School spurred Roark into a mission, and her role in the creation of the Boulder business.
“Columbine was a wake-up call,´ said Roark, referring to the April 20 killings at the Littleton high school. “If students had been treated with civility, perhaps it might have never occurred.”
Vann’s area of expertise lies with the adults in the corporate arena. “Social skills should be part of the professional protocol, from the owner to the clerks and warehouse workers,” Vann said. “Their ability to act courteously, to each other and to the public, will be the way their company will be perceived.” A fee for adult and corporate rates has not yet been determined.