Feng Shui for the garage? Dragons and tigers, oh my!

A fair amount of holiday mail piled up at the Business Report in late December, as at most work places. But one offering, in particular, caught the Eye.
It was from the guys at GarageTek, the Johnstown company that promises to make anyone?s garage into a place worthy of a semi-formal dinner party.
Dan Harty, Gary Cooper and the GarageTek team sent along the latest edition of ?Your Garagenous Zone,? by Bill West, a broker at The Group Inc. Real Estate. West has made himself the Guru of the Garage with his entertaining book, and through his numerous television and radio appearances.
His latest edition gives a generous nod to GarageTek?s sleek storage and organizing system, as well as to Gladiator GarageWorks, a GarageTek competitor backed by Whirlpool Corp.
Leafing through the 183 pages of West?s book, the Eye fell upon a chapter titled ?Feng Shui for the Garage.? Feng shui? For what?
Yes, the ancient Asian art of healing design, the science that steers good energy into our lives and turns bad energy aside, has a parking place in your garage, contributing writer Gary Hendrickson says.
Hendrickson, a Boulder designer who heads Feng Shui Design International, has spent almost 30 years applying the principles of feng shui to building design. He was doing feng shui before it was feng shui, in the days when it was still known by its English label, geomancy.
?Clutter and disorganization in the garage represent a form of stuck energy,? Hendrickson writes.
Oh, so much energy ? stuck there in the Eye?s garage. No problem. By applying the principles of the Black Hat Sect School, the feng shui technique that Hendrickson prefers, all that terrific energy can be unstuck.
Start with the Bagua, the octagon that overlays the floorplan of any house, and ropes in all that energy we store in the garage. (Hendrickson graciously permitted the publication of the Bagua, and an example of how it works in the garage, as a guide.)
?Nobody?s written anything on this topic before,? Hendrickson told the Eye. ?Most of the practioners and teachers feel that the garage is something that you ignore. So, it?s kind of a new application.?
So, we begin: Of the eight Bagua ?life stations,? the ones most likely to fall into the garage are knowledge, career, and helpful people. And the stakes are way high, according to the Bagua expert.
?If your garage is disorganized and contains most or all of the helpful people or benefactors area,? he writes, ?you may be experiencing difficulty in maintaining reliable relationships with colleagues, assistants or helpful friends.?
So, that?s why things are so screwed up at work.
Hendrickson even presents sort of an ?FAQ? for feng shui in the garage. Here?s a Q: ?Are colors and lighting important for the garage??
And an A: ?The garage is usually a much-cluttered yin space,? he writes. ?Create more balance for the space by bringing in yang energy.? In other words, light it up, and paint it bright.
Now, here?s something that never would have occurred to the Eye: The tiger, or the dragon, in the garage. Seems that if you look out your front door, a dragon is on the left, and a tiger on the right. Seems also that the dragon represents male energy, and the tiger female.
?Garages protruding out from the front of the house create extended dragons or tigers,? Hendrickson tells us. ?This could contribute to a slightly noticeable imbalance between the primary male and female living in the house, possibly leading to authority and power struggles.?
OK. That does it. The Eye is either going to clean up the garage ? or move it to the left.
By the way, West is doing well with his lavish latest edition of ?Your Garagenous Zone.? He?s a frequent guest on the nationally syndicated radio show, ?On the House,? where hosts James and Morris Carey do for home improvement what ?Car Talk? guys Tom and Ray do for car repair.
West has also been asked by Southern Living magazine ? the Sunset of the South ? to consult on a major garage makeover for an upcoming edition.
Still, he?s keeping his day job at The Group.
?There?s been a ton of exposure, but one book does not a career make,? West said. ?I?m more realistic than that.?